Monday, October 02, 2006

The London Effect

London... it gets inside you! I am not saying that is a good thing either.

Take for example this weekend's trip to Asda.

The place is like a bombsite at the moment as they are changing the layout and Sunday mornings seem to be a popular time for families to hit our local Asda superstore. I was popping over to buy some milk, bananas and nappies (the essentials)! The first incident was in the nappy aisle. Pampers were on a 2 packs for £16 offer and the area was a bit of a jumble. Seeing the offer I picked up the last 4 packs of Size 4's and dumped them in my trolley. Moments later a family started rooting through the size 3's and 5's looking for more size 4's (I was looking at juice bottles for Lauren) and the women came out with a colourful expression that meant "Oh dear they haven't got any #4's left!" The father then looked in my trolley at my 4 packs of #4's and I swear for a second I thought he was going to take them. He was a rather large bloke and if he had tried, there would have been little I could have done to stop him beyond shout and duck! I am sure he wouldn't, but I've been in London too long and the paranoia is starting to seep in.

Incident number two was at the checkout. The queues were long and I was standing in line with everyone else. Behind me I heard a manager tell and assistant to "Open Aisle 13", so I followed her down there. As I had a trolley to navigate with she got there well ahead of me and just as I joined the queue of one person, a lady from Aisle 14 rammed into the side of my trolley saying "You weren't thinking of pushing in front of me were you?". I bit my tongue! In the end I said "You seemed to be in the other queue, but I am a gentleman so feel free to go first." I added a nice edge of sarcasm which was lost on this lady (I forgot to say she was American)! She just replied "Why thank you!", which was as blatant an admission of guilt that I have ever heard (and she wasn't being sarcastic)!

The final London incident happened this morning at the bus stop. I am a bit knackered as Lauren has a nasty cough that kept us all awake, so I was pretty much on autopilot. A 266 pulled in (not my bus) so I stood back and watched a few people get off. The first person off deliberately kicked a loose can of Coke onto the road from the bus. After the hurly-burly cleared I notice the can was full and sealed and lodged under the bus's wheel. I took three steps back and watched with morbid fascination as the bus pulled away, the can exploded and soaked a poor woman's pink skirt in Coke. I don't know why I said nothing in warning... that isn't like me. I normally warn people about wet seats on the tube etc... Maybe I am just tired, or maybe it is the London "look after number one" attitude sinking into my bones.

All of the above is reinforcing Serena's and my opinion that we NEED to get out of this city. I can't see us staying here for more than a couple of years. If things don't work out for Serena we may head north of far south much, much sooner.

Hmmm... Maybe I am depressed? A cup of tea is needed!


GF said...

Something about this story made me smile and also feel for you at the same time.

It does just sound like a typical London to me, and yip - very much a look after number 1 attitude.

Mind you, the Asda incident would happen anywhere - try it in Glasgow.....

Oh and maybe another proof read as your tired-self didn't hit the space bar often enoughbetweenwords ;)

Jase said...

Argh - I wrote it offline and copy/pasted. Why it strips out spaces when I do that I don't know!

GF said...

Does it put shpelling mishtakes in too!? ;)

Jase said...

OK - you got me.... I can't spot any typos in my post!