Prezzies

This post serves two purposes...
Firstly - you may remember that I spent a good while winding up Gareth (or maybe Gillian) about Gareth's birthday present - some artwork for his house.
Now Gareth didn't blog anything about this art, so I thought I would briefly mention that it was well received by both parties and that I stuck to my ground by providing both images of lesbians and of animals in unnatural positions! I'll let Gareth clarify how I managed to do that AND not alienate him or Gillian!!!!!

Secondly - What do you buy your daughter for her second birthday? I think that her grandparents are covering off the safe option of a tricycle, and we have more books and soft-toys than we really know what to do with! She already has a farm, a piano and a fairy tree house, so I am rather short on ideas!
I did wander aimlessly round both Toys R Us and a very good toy shop in Kingston and I have no ideas! I feel I want to get her some technology, put preferably not something that plays "The Yellow Rose of Texas" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" at loud volumes.
DRUMS are BANNED!

I'll continue my research at lunchtime, but ideas are requested!

PS Budgets do not permit me to buy her a laptop, nor can I justify the two proposed PC builds as being her present either!

PPS One of Lauren's favourite pastimes is watching videos of herself on the PC! When I hook our laptop up to our LCD Telly, she will sit for ages watching herself on loop - dancing, sliding, paddling and eating!

PPPS Her other favourite pastime is climbing up onto the PC desk and trying to get the PC to show her videos by hammering the keyboard or mouse repeatedly!

Subtlety

Following my little exercise for the Media Centre PC, it turns out that Serena has been speccing out an upgrade to our primary gaming PC (reasons to follow). An off-hand comment yesterday made me laugh - "we can do a pretty quick and dirty upgrade for £400". That triggered a bit of a debate and it turned out the the £400 "quick and dirty" was really an £1,100 build a new machine and using the existing one as a server!

I laugh because I was worried about thinking about spending £800 on a new machine, whilst all along Serena had ideas slightly higher up the food chain! We now have rough specs for £2,000 worth of PC kit! The only question remaining is "when" (can we afford to put it on the credit card)!

Serena tries to be subtle at times and she is either too subtle (in that I don't notice) or is a bit too unsubtle so that I notice straight away! I much prefer the latter as it causes less arguments.

Anyway she has been talking about a particular computer game for a while now, "look what a good write up it got", leaving various magazine articles open on that particular page or websites open in the same fashion!
When I asked whether we should buy the game she informed me of the cheapest website to buy it from! (BlahDVD - never heard of them before).

Once ordered I had a quick look at the required specs for the game and realised that our laptop wouldn't go near it and our main PC would struggle to display much beyond the lower graphical settings. When I informed Serena, that was when the £400 quick and dirty comment popped out!

There are times when I wonder who is the bigger nerd in our house! The only difference being I am well out of the closet!

PS The game is question is "Lord of the Rings Online - Shadows of Angmar".

PPS Here is what £1,100 buys you:

• Case (TBD)
• Power supply (650 W one with good voltage stability)
• Motherboard (TBD - but there is a good ASUS one with build in WiFi that Serena has spotted)
• Processor (Intel Core 2 Duo - at least a 6420)
• Heatsink (the Freezer one that allows good overclocking)
• Video Card (Pre-overclocked 8800 GTS 640 MB)
• RAM (2 x 2 GB)
• Hard Disks (2 of the Spinpoints as seen in the Media Centre)
• Sound Card (X-Fi Gamer Edition)
• OS (Windows Vista Home Edition)
• Keyboard and Mouse (Logitech Gamer Set)

I have the feeling that this could be quite noisy, so the case will need to be well soundproofed!

Move over Gareth

It has be said that I don't post about music and musicians very much. I am no expert nor music nerd! (No offence intended to anyone - I am happy being a Sci-Fi / PC Nerd).

Something did strike me recently that I though I should blog about and then I promptly forgot until now.

I have seen a few "Pop star" interviews on TV recently, followed by supposed live performances of the latest single. Most of them fade into obscurity as they are generally an average guest and sound like they are miming later on. Two have stood out though.

1/ Pete Docherty. The news always portrays him as a complete arse. I am afraid that his interview confirmed it, even though the interviewer (Johnathon Ross) was clearly a fan. Later when he performed acoustically I thought he was terrible! I am not surprised that his band got fed up with him and parted company. Clearly his lifestyle is compromising his ability to perform musically.

2/ Iggy Pop. I always thought he was another one that looked like his lifestyle had killed both his personality and talent. How wrong could I be! His interview with his Stooges (?) band mates was entertaining and informative. Then his live performance in the studio was excellent. He has clearly suffered from lifestyle abuse but he also clearly loves to perform. He got some bad press at Glastonbury for his enthusiasm in causing the stage invasion, but I reckon he just got carried away in the moment! My opinion of him has completely changed!

Blink and you'll have Nightmares!

Clearly too much Dr Who for me yesterday! Not so much nightmares as very weird dreams about being chased!
The scarecrows and the weeping angels are absolutley brilliant as far as malevolant baddies go in my book! It is a shame that the scarecrows were poorly used in the Family of Blood episode.
My hat goes off to Stephen Moffitt though. He clearly is in his element writing for Dr Who.

The three-parter (of which we are 2/3 of the way through) started really well, with Jack back and the strange world at the end of time. I loved DJ as Prof Yana and was only slightly disappointed that he chose to regen! As previously stated John Simms was brilliant. I love a good Ham and Cheese role! (Pun intended!)

What worries me is that the plotline for this trilogy is a bit too abstract and I haven't got a clue as to what is going on and where Martha is going! Some hints would have been nice! So far it isn't as good as the Age of Steel or Ghosts two-parters from Series Two.

The Sound of Drums

After a swift catch-up weekend and a re-record of this week's episode following the thunderstorm we are now up to speed and hanging on the cliff!

Blink was great!  Those Angels are going to haunt Serena's dreams for days.  Poor Lauren got a fright too when I paused the episode and it just happened to be the first time you see their fangs.  She ran to Mama for a hug!  :(

I LOVE John Sims as the Master!  I reckon it took him 0.2 seconds to accept that job when the phone rang!

Anyway, more tomorrow I am sure!

Nooooooooooooooo!

How come we get a thunderstorm that knocks out our Sky DURING Dr Who!

If there is another tomorrow during the BBC3 repeat I may cry!

£30! and a Question

I forgot to include a DVI to HDMI cable on my media centre's list of needs...
They're £30! I must check my little man on EBay to see if he does them any cheaper, as that seems a bit steep to me! I have the rest of the cables I need already.

Question: What should I do with my subtitle / banner area thingummy?

There is clearly no-one even remotely famous round here - I have gotten so desperate for an update that I even check out sporty looking cars when I drive past them to see if there is a celeb inside!!!!

I did think about changing it to Celebrity Look-a-like of the Week, but didn't fancy trying to get a convincing photo on my phone's 2 mega-pixel camera!!!!

I want it to be something that changes frequently... I may just steal my Live Messenger comment theme, which is my variation on "Jesse's Diets" from the Fast Show.

Damn - Missed it!

Yesterday Ebuyer were selling Vista Home Premium for £40 + Free Delivery.
At the time I though this was an error but did nothing about it.
I mentioned it to Serena and she said I should grab a copy whilst it is cheap (RRP £68) so I went back this morning to find the price restored to £68.
ARSE!
At least I got a tax rebate of £300 this pay check (emergency tax codes and all that), which will help clear the holiday credit card bill and help me save the money (now £850) for the Media Centre.

PS I really want to get the snazzy MS Media Centre 7000 keyboard/mouse, but £85 is a bit steep! Maybe for Christmas! I can't seem to buy the 8000 in the UK yet but that is very snazzy too - I suspect that we are talking £160 for that one though (when you compare it to the Logitech equivalent).

Ideas Above My Budget!

I just had my first stab at speccing out the PC listed below.
In a word "OUCH"!

I then cut back on some of the silly components and got the price down to only £1,000!

Next I took a few executive decisions around quality and performance and got the price down to a Gnat's Whisker over £800. I now feel that I am working in the correct ball-park! I could go lower but then I would be seriously compromising the lifespan of the project.

The £800 system looks like this:

• Antec Fusion Media Centre Case
• Foxconn G9657MA - 8EKRS2H Motherboard (has very good on-board sound)
• Intel Core2 Duo E6420 Processor
• 2 x 1 GB EBuyer Value DDR2 PC2-6400 RAM (made by Corsair)
• 2 x Samsung Spinpoint T166 HDJ01LJ 500 GB Hard Disks
• 8800GTS 320 MB Graphics (ASUS branded)
• Panasonic DVD-RW
• Netgear Wireless LAN Card
• Windows Vista Home Premium Edition
• Wireless Keyboard and Mouse

Now I just need to save up enough money (as Serena would kill me if I put this on my Mastercard so soon after our holiday)!

New Project

After much reading and pontificating I am starting a new project (home not work).
We are planning on moving house sometime in the next year so that we can be closer to both Serena's and my work, and we could do with at least one more bedroom if not two with the forthcoming family expansion.

Because of the planned move I am not buying any of the technology I would like until I see what space I have to set it all up in. The items on hold include a new gaming PC or Laptop, Amp and Speakers for the TV / DVD and Sky HD.

However I am going to go ahead and start speccing up a media centre. Budgets are still tight so soon after a holiday, so I don't expect to place any orders for a couple of months but this is one part of our home setup I want to get up and running sooner rather than later.

My initials thoughts fall along these lines:

• Antec Fusion Media Centre Case.
• Core2 Duo Processor.
• 2 GB RAM (Single DDR2 SIMM so I can double up later).
• 2 Hard Disks - One fast for OS and Apps (likely to be a 10k Raptor) and One Big for Media (~500 GB as these are best value atm). I'll add a second media drive later as the case has space.
• A MicroATX motherboard - undecided atm as I need to see what is out there.
• A Video Card - undecided atm but must be HDCP compliant on the the video output - doesn't need to be an HDMI output though (DVI is fine) and I am not intending to blow a huge amount on this component as we are not talking high end gaming rig.
• Creative X-Fi soundcard - for hooking up to an Amp in the future.
• Wireless LAN if not onboard on the MoBo.
• Bluetooth (could be rear USB dongle).
• InfraRed - want this for a remote control - need to do more research on this though.
• DVD RW (replace with HD drive in future).
• Wireless Media Centre Keyboard and Mouse.
• Windows Vista Ultimate Edition.

I'll run ideas for each component past you on here and once it is up and running I'll show off here as well! Feel free to interject at any stage as advice on anything listed is more that welcome.

376 Emails....

We're back and my inbox is rather full!  Blogging to resume shortly!

Holidays

We're all in Barcelona until the 18th June.
Try not to rob our house!

Sad News

It has been announced that Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica will be the last.
Whether there will be spin-offs like Babylon 5 remains to be seen, but the two execs have decided to end the main series on their terms.

I also saw that Eidos managed to get together all the old Lara Croft models for a bit of publicity for the new (crap) LC Game. Which is your favourite?

Now that is big!

Wow!

Feelings of Guilt

My friend Sheena applied for the job that I am now doing. Obviously she didn't get it, despite being interviewed the day before me. At the time I felt really guilty about it as she has two small kids and lives just up the road from where I now work.
Today she rang out of the blue to say that she got another job just up the road from here. Ironically it is another job that I applied for, and turned down the interview when I accepted this role.
We had a nice lunch today and my feelings of guilt melted away!

Now I just need to work out how guilty I would feel if I stuck a £300 piece of technology* on my credit card... or perhaps more accurately how guilty Serena would make me feel!

* In Scotland this item sounds really small!

More Birthday Greetings

So today is my Mum's Birthday & is also Julian's Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM AND JULES!

I'll be polite to them and not mention any ages!

An Early "Happy Birthday"!

Since the whole family are upping sticks and heading off to Barcelona next week, I need to get a few pieces of admin out of the way over the next few days.

Firstly "Happy Birthday Gareth"! I know I am a couple of weeks early, but I'll be away and I would have missed it!

I have spent literally minutes agonising over your present and decided that I could prove GK wrong about one of her earlier comments...

Hence, you have some "Art" for your house heading your way! I expect it up on the walls when I next visit!

To help you get the theme here are a few of the items I rejected when selecting as I didn't think they were "arty" enough!

Kiss

Kiss 2

ZG2

Teamwork

Bottoms Up

I won't give any hints as to what I did choose in the end! I just wish I could be there when you open them, especially if you wait to do it with GK!

The Agony of Choice

I needed some reading material this morning, so I went to buy the Star Wars anniversary edition of Empire magazine. To celebrate the the 30 years they have done 30 commemorative covers showing different Star Wars characters.

Talk about an Agony of Choice! Who do I pick? Who does that mean I reject?

The newsagent had about 12 copies and that gave me about 10 cover choices (No Han, Luke or Vader), however my choice was an easy one to make in the end...

Cover #6. "Size Matters Not!"

Scared!

This weekend's Dr Who was quite scary! The classic "monster at the window" moment made me jump!

I am struggling to remember something so this is thrown out to the wider audience...

Two things grabbed me in the episode:

First was the scarecrows... Wurzle Gummage aside, what Kids TV show had scary scarecrows in it? The ones on Dr Who really reminded me of something and there was a real creepiness to the memory that it twanged. Maybe it was "The Moondial"?

Second was the image of the little girl with the balloon. Serena reckons that that is an homage to a classic horror film. I think I know what she means, but I cannot place that memory either!

How Wude!

Star Wars is 30 years old this week and neither Gareth nor I have rambled on about it yet! Nor did we do the usual "Happy Star Wars Day" back on May 4th.

Either we are unwell or our nerdiness is subsiding!

I once had a conversation with Hubert (Serena's not so little anymore brother) about Star Wars and what it meant to "my generation". He told me that The Matrix trilogy defined his generation in a similar manner. Somehow I don't see the new Spiderman films being used in a similar fashion!

I have to laugh about Gareth's love of Star Wars, given that I am just that little bit older than him and actually saw Star Wars at the cinema when it first came out in 1977. I'd love to say that it should give me the moral high ground on any discussions we have, but when it comes to Star Wars he is a much bigger nerd than I am (and I never saw Episodes 5 and 6 in the cinema until the remastered versions came out in the late 90s).

I recently bought the Lord of the Rings and Star Wars DVD Trivial Pursuit games... Next time Gareth is down I'll have to take him on at the latter! I'll keep it shrink wrapped so I can't be accused of cheating! I am currently undefeated at the Lord of the Rings one (although Rena gives me a close fight most times), but then my LOTR nerdiness knows no bounds!

Scary Food

Jase and I try to get to the Farmers' Market in Chiswick every other week (and sometimes every week) to buy what we feel to be fresh food. However, we do some food shopping at our local supermarkets because it is so convenient.

I'm sure that some supermarkets are better than others and some branches are worse than others, but this news article really shocked me:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6676345.stm

Be wary of scary food out there! I think the important thing to take away from this is not to buy from the "fresh meat" counter...

We have the Technology!

I have gotten so used to having webmail, that I never really explored "other options" as far as checking my email when away from home.
Since Combined have blocked webmail on their internet servers I have finally been forced to review other options.
Friday afternoon had me on the phone to Orange and I now have my phone configured for GPRS and my ancient Dell PDA configured to use a Bluetooth modem. I can now download the headers to my PDA via my mobile and delete all your spam / choose what I want to read / knock out a few replies that I don't want to go via work.

Next step is for me to configure our laptop to do the same and work out how to use the same process when abroad.

Finally!

I now work for CICA as a Project Manager in the Business Transformation Team!

Their office is here.

No work email etc for a week or so!  Their IT is a bit slow!

Endless Waiting...

I have been waiting for something since 12.30 pm.

If it doesn't get here by 5.30 pm I am going to be well p'd off!

I just feel like the afternoon has been a complete waste of time.

iPod culture gone wrong

Enough Said!

One for the Girls

Here is a quick nod to all you laydeez out there.

Given that you are reading my blog then you must be a bit nerdy, so this site is definitely for you...  It just won an award for the best UK Technology Blog.

Movie Roundup

Time again for another round up of a few of the movies I have been watching recently.

Sunshine
Credible Sci-Fi Triller, but completely loses the plot towards the end. My nuclear physics may be a bit rusty but I was still going "Eh?" a bit too much!

Underworld Evolution
Kate Beckinsale is still a very sexy vampire, but again the plot of this film is just rubbish. I am glad I waited to see it on Sky as it wasn't worth paying good money to see.

Saw
I watched the first 15 minutes on Sky+ and then deleted it. I could tell this wasn't going to be up my street at all!

Snakes on a Plane
Brilliant - completely cheesy and plotless. A perfect way to unwind whilst studying for my exams!

Slither
Not as good as the hype at the time suggested. I loved Nathan Fillion though, as he plays a similar character to that in Firefly. A bit more tense than SoaP, but still good plain cheesy fun.

Mission Impossible III
Complete waste of time. I still think the first one was far and away the best and the rest were just poorly conceived. Both sequals were only worth watching for their female content!

And now for the big finale....

Spiderman 3
Hmmmm... This is a toughy. The film tries to do too many things. It feels like Sam Raimi was trying to do an Action Film, a Comedy Film and a Romantic Drama, but only had budget for 150 minutes of cinema time, so he squeezed out something that missed on all three.
The action is OK and the CG is vastly improved, so that Spidey no longer is obviously fake, however the action is too fast, so that everything becomes a blur. I miss the old days of slow-mo kung fu!
The comedy bits are straight "set pieces" which look a bit like they were penned by a separate writer. They do work and they are funny, but I am not convinced that they fit into the film very well.
The romance is awful! If I were MJ I would have kicked Spidey in the nads quite early on and told him to F#CK OFF!
As a bit of a comic book fan, I did enjoy the film over-all, but I don't think it is as good as numbers 1 and 2.

Jobsworth...

My first day signing on today...

I got there early and checked their computers for jobs, as per my Job Seekers Agreement.  As per my online searches on the Job Centre website there was nothing close to being applicable.

I decided to take a seat and handed in my signing on book, which was then taken to the relevant desk.  The girl sat there looked at it, looked at the clock and did nothing...  for 20 minutes.  I handed in my book at 10 am, my time slot is 10.20 to 10.30.  For 20 minutes she sat there looking bored and did nothing whilst I sat there looking bored doing nothing!

At 10.20 she called me over, we had a quick chat to prove I was seeking work and I signed my form.  At 10.23 I was heading out the door.

What a waste of bloody time!

Ups and Downs

It's been a rollercoaster day today.

I was in high spirits this morning after taking Lauren to nursery and then shortly before lunchtime I got a call to say that I had been knocked back by Ernst and Young.  I was disappointed by the feedback so I may give the interviewer a ring and ask for a bit more info on that.

I was due to meet an old friend for lunch, and I was really down for the whole drive over to her place.

Chatting with her cheered me up and I have also received some good feedback from the BarCap interview.  They have asked to delay decision making until Tuesday next week, but wanted to let me know that I came across really well and they thought I was a good fit for the role.

I've applied for a few more jobs and have been drinking iced coffee down by the riverside most of the afternoon - I'll probably be scarlet tomorrow!

Blood in my Shoe

Both interviews went well - more on that in a sec...

I am in serious pain though.  New shoes -> Blister -> Popped Blister.

So badly popped in fact that the inside of my shoe has a little red stain where the blood seeped though my sock and soaked into the leather.

Interview 1 at BarCap in Canary Wharf went really well - I think I have all the skills they are looking for.  Shame I think the job is really narrowly focused and would get boring very quickly.  I have fed that back to the agent though, as it may just be the manager's poor representation of the role.  I reckon it is a job I could have done a few years ago, so it feels like a step sideways (and slightly backwards) rather than forwards.

Interview 2 at Ernst & Young was really friendly.  I can't say that I like Lambeth that well, but I thought the team dynamic was right up my street and that the seniority of the role is exactly where I want to place myself in the market.  I feel I represented myself very well.

I doubt I will hear much for a couple of days on either though as both seemed early on in their recruitment process.

Best Laxative Known to Man!

I have two interviews today...

These are the first face to face interviews I have had, where I don't know the interviewers, for over seven years.

I am bricking it right now!

I have just ironed my shirt, having polished my shoes earlier.

Transit time to Canary Wharf is a little over an hour, so I am leaving myself two hours!

I then have an hour to get back to Waterloo for the second interview, however that is only a 15 minute journey, so that should be OK.

My initial preferences lean towards the first job, but we'll have to see how I feel tonight!

If only the forecast was for cold weather...  I will probably be soaked come the second interview!

New Banner

I finally decided what to do with the banner at the top of this blog.

It will now detail my celebrity spot of the week.

I won't be backing this up with photos, as that is just plain annoying both to them and to me.

Serena did try and take a photo of JD yesterday when we spotted him in Chiswick, but she ballsed it up!

No Sweat

Apart from one acronym that I didn't recognise until it was expanded, I thought the GE Money interview went well.  Blooming Six-Sigma speak!

I have a Six-Sigma mini-guide somewhere round this house, so I must dig it out if they invite me for the next round!

Exams over... Time to Sign-on!

I reckon I passed the big exam on Friday.  All the questions I didn't want to come up, came up, however I had prepared hard for that scenario and would be very disappointed if I failed.  Still, I have to wait 6-8 weeks for the marking to be done!

Down to the Job Centre today and signed on for the first time in my life.

I am appalled by that lack of evidence you need to provide as proof that you are seeking employment!  I just need to fill in a log of what I do, so I could write down complete bullshit and still get my dole money!  That isn't right!

Anyway I have a 1st round interview with GE Money this afternoon.  Just a quick 15 minutes with HR on the phone to prove I am who I say I am!  I'm not convinced that I want this particular job though as it is in Watford!

No news on the Computer Games company job though!

More Photos

Three pictures showing the glorious weather and Bournemouth Beach.




A view from my hotel window showing a local "attraction" which is a balloon that just goes up and down giving you panoramic views over the bay and town.

Losing the Will to Live

The little red light came on around 3 pm today as my Brain went "DING" as it was full!
The two hours of exam revision from that point on were a bit torturous!
I am not scared of tomorrow's exam any more, it is down to technique rather than knowledge and you only need 50% to pass. There is no negative marking and you can theoretically get >100% as a question listed as being worth 10 marks could have 12 marks available on the marking scheme!!!!
As long as I read the question I can guarentee to get 60-75% on any question (it's when you don't answer the correct question that you are in trouble!).
There are a few questions which are complete bread and butter - I can pretty much guarantee 90% on one of those, as they are just too easy! (Really!) I reckon there is only about a 33% chance of one of those coming up though.

Curry night was fun, I didn't drink too much and was in bed by midnight. The Geordie did sleep in though and turned up looking green about 30 mins late!

I have a few more photos for you that will go in another post.

Curry Night

Well I passed the multiple choice paper with a cool 92%, which means I can update my CV to say "Prince2 Qualified", even if it is only to Foundation level.

I am a heck of a lot less scared of Friday's Practitioner exam now as well.

Whilst waiting for our results, a few of us were sat in the bar having a beer and complaining about the food in the hotel. Since the Ex-pat living in Portugal said he had to have a Curry before going back to Lisbon, we have decided that tonight is Curry Night and bugger the free food at the hotel!

I don't expect it to be too late a finish though... After all we are all professionals! If only the other two Curry-chasers weren't a Geordie and a guy who works at Lords Cricket ground, then I wouldn't be worried!

Day 2

Two days down and I just aced my mock exam, so I feel a hell of a lot more relaxed tonight.

Tonight I sat discussing the finer points of football with a Sunderland fan and an ex-pat living in Lisbon, which meant we had a very entertaining dinner after I admitted to supporting Newcastle!

Beyond that I have found a local Blockbuster and have bought 3 DVDs from their bargain bin, since there is bugger all to do in the hotel apart from drink or dance with the crumblies...

Tonight is Line Dancing, so they are all bedecked in Rhinestones and are wearing stetsons! I kid you not! I almost feel I am at a Kylie concert!

Whilst on my walk I came across this retirement home, whose signage made me laugh!

End of Day One

So that is the first day of the course out of the way.
I have done my first hour of home work and have 30 mins of practice questions to do once I have finished blogging.
I think that I am doing OK, and that it is all sinking in. My first exam in on Wednesday afternoon and I should be OK for that one! It's the Friday morning exam that is scary!

My co-delegates are a very diverse bunch, from the NHS manager who I met propping up the bar last night, to the fuzzy cheeked teenager who is filling in for someone who has gone off sick!

I am one of the younger delegates, but not by much and we all seem to have families or at the very least a partner. There is definitely no "lad" culture trying to force everyone into the bar for a late night "session".

I went for a walk after breakfast as we didn't start until 9.30 am and found the local convenience store. I bought some more post-it notes, as my supply of ones I pinched from NAB were starting to run low! I also bought myself a decent pen for the exam on Friday, as I neglected to bring one with me (decent that is). I am not certain how my wrist will cope with a 3 hour written exam! I am rather more used to typing things nowadays!

Lunch was quite nice, buffet style, with samosas, deep fried prawns, satays and the like, and I took a quick stroll down to the cliff tops (not to consider suicide) to clear my brain a little.

These photos show the mill-pond sea quite nicely - it is a real shame that I was stuck indoors all day.


Finally, Lauren needn't worry about Daddy not having any company when he takes a bath - the hotel have provided "friends"!

Room Photos

All alone in my room!

A Real Corby Trouser Press!

Nothing on TV and the decor sucks!

Saga Central

My first night in Bournemouth for the Prince2 course that I have shelled out for and I feel young! In fact I feel like I should be in bed by now!
The Wessex Hotel has two types of clients on a Sunday night....
1/ Mid 30s people eating by themselves and looking round wondering whether the other saddo's are here for the same course.
2/ A mixture of wrinklies in the 70+ category wondering whether their dentures and colesterol medication can cope with the Chef's Turkey Roast!

I went down for dinner at 7.30 pm and the place was heaving with the more mature clientel, who all shuffled out around 8.00 pm leaving the restaurant to the "solos".
I quickly finished my salty French Onion Soup, my "£5 extra" Sirloin Steak and my "serve yourself" Apple Strudel and waddled out into the lobby to find a couple of the solos had started chatting about the course, so I introduced myself and we had a bit of a blather.
The wrinklies had all retired to the ballroom and were circling the floor in a stately fashion.
Anyway I have worked out the BT OpenZone and forked out for 5 days access so I will try and Blog each night I am here.
Piccies for Lauren and Mama to follow.

James is a Poo!

James - I have texted you and emailed you to get Sally's address so I can post this prezzie to you both!

I am now away for a week so you will have to wait!

Sally - give him a good thump for me!!!!

PS  Your Mum gave me Sally's home number but there was no answer, so don't say I didn't try!!!!!

Sqeak!!!

Aaaargh!!

Further forays into the house by the mice were spotted today by both of us. We've figured out that they are coming from a gap at the back of the fireplace in the study, so Jase has plugged it with copious quantities of tin foil (we figured that this material would be both fire proof and chew resistant).

We will need to see if this makes any difference, but obviously there may be other access points into the house. However, of the four mice who have ventured into the house, all either emerged from there or ran to there to escape, so hopefully this will be a temporary stop gap.

Once in the house they head straight for the sofas or the kitchen. Much like the humans then!

You Little Beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silver Birch

33/1

£20 Each Way Bet

£432.50 Returned!

My heart is still racing!

Grand National Day

A lot of you probably don't know this, but I actually enjoy a flutter on the ponies every now and again.  I only bet on big races or if we are actually there and I always set myself a limit so I never go over.  Winnings are never re-bet either.

In general I am "lucky", raking in £220 on last year's National and over HK$2,000 when we went a couple of years back.

This is the first time I have decided to publish my bets before the race though, so you can see how I get on!

Jasie's Picks:

7. Numbersixvalverde - Last Year's winner, which scooped me a big prize.  I reckon that you should not break a winning combo!

30. Silver Birch - Good odds for an improving horse.

Rena's Pick:

25. Longshanks - Hammer of the Scots!  Jockey called Dobbin!

Lauren's Pick:

5. Thisthatandtother - She likes "Dis" and "Dat" at the moment, so seemed appropriate.

Jasie's Eachway Longshot:

10. Cloudy Bays - Black and White stripes for the Zebra in all of us!

Friday 13!

I just realised it's Friday the 13th today.
Clearly unlucky for mice!

I have been put forward for a role at a very large computer games company.... I hope there are fringe benefits! I can't say too much but it is "in the game"!

I am not Paranoid!

For once!

This morning I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.... Nothing there.

This afternoon I had the same feeling but this time I got lucky!






Rentokil are coming to make certain this is a one off incident and the lady or gent pictured is very lucky I wasn't in a bad mood, since our neighbour's cat looked hungry! I released him into the wild half a street away from our house - it can annoy someone else!

Computer Porn

Now if I was earning big money then this website would be my bestest friend!

Not Half Bard!

Last night's Doctor Who was excellent. Set in 1599 and involving Shakespeare it was exceptionally well written and despite the topic absolutely triumphed in not being corny.

It's funny I am a big fan of drama that spoofs or tributes to Shakespeare, with my favourites both coming from the pen of Tom Stoppard - Shakespeare in Love and Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

I hope the writing of this season of Doctor Who continues to be this good.

Spring TV Choice

Ahhh, the BBC has rolled out its new Spring TV schedule for Saturday nights...

Plenty for Serena and I with the new series of Dr Who and a new "find someone to be in our muscial" show.

I even liked the new lottery show despite being utterly gutted about not reading about the London audition for it!  All that free time on my hands and I missed a TV Quiz Audition 2 miles from my house!

The "Catch-Up" show for the quiz clashes with our trip to Barcelona in June, so I can't even do that one!  Maybe I should look at Deal or No Deal?

PS  If James or Sally could drop me a note of which BSG episodes they have missed I will encode them to disc with the subtitles and pop them in the post.

Back Home

After a week in Edinburgh we are back home.

We had fun and I know Serena will blog and post photos at great length.

It was great to see Gareth in the flesh (as opposed to on my Screen Saver - don't ask!) and we hit it lucky with the weather for most of the stay, which is always a bonus in Edinburgh!

FastStone

A quick thanks to Gareth....
Your tip on the FastStone Image Viewer was a good one!

Back from first set of travels

Well we enjoyed a nice long weekend in York, which will get some serious blog treatment on the family blog soon.

Breakfast with Bill AGAIN today!  Isn't he lucky!

Pleasant Change

Yesterday was refreshing.

I met up with an agent in the morning and didn't leave the session thinking she was a complete prick.  In fact she gave me some REALLY good advice and we had a constructive chat about the market place.  Fingers crossed as always.

Since I was meeting her in a posh hotel, I thought I had better get reasonably well dressed up, so I had a shave, pulled out a smart pair of trousers, wore a shirt and even pulled out my "sports jacket".

I have to say I have missed being dressed up smart!  It was really nice to not feel scruffy!  I need to do that more often.

Although, walking the length of Oxford St in that geer turned our to be rather warmer than I expected for a March morning.

Hot Fuzz

Friday and a gamut of really annoying bullshitters (agents) drove me from the house to the cinema.  It was a toss up between Blood Diamond and Hot Fuzz.

Well I decided that "comedy" over "gritty" was what I needed so I settled down in the Vue Acton (a generic Vue cinema clone) and sat back for what I assumed would be a load of pants.

Oh how wrong could I be.

This film is silly.  This film is daft.  This film was exactly what I needed!

I laughed for the whole two hours.  This is way better than Shaun of the Dead.

GO AND SEE THIS FILM!  (If you are a guy)

I put that caveat at the end as some girls just won't get it as it is sooooo daft!  Others will love it just like I did.

Back to the Beginning

One of the original purposes of this blog was to share my movie reviews with a wider audience and to have an archive of them.  Clearly I haven't done this for a while, mainly because Lauren has prevented us from hitting the cinema.

Anyway I have been using my boredom filled moments to catchup on a few films on Sky Movies that I missed last year, so here are some short reviews.

Stealth:  Popcorn special for the boys (blue bikinis rule).  Beyond that it is crap.  5/10

Revolver: Eh?  I don't get it!  Enjoyable film but far too clever for me!  6/10

Red Eye:  Absolute rubbish!  3/10

Croupier:  Finally something worth watching!  Excellent cast and a great yarn!  7/10

Changing Lanes: Ben Affleck and Samuel L Jackson wasted on a terrible plot about nasty people!  5/10

The Libertine:  Under-rated Johnny Depp film.  Weird but enjoyable!  7/10

Chronicles of Narnia:  A hell of a lot better than I expected.  Something for the kiddies though.  7/10

One more to come, but that gets it's own post.

Great T-shirt

Natalie sent me this....

For some reason I thought of Julian!

Breakfast with Bill

We went out for our weekly breakfast trip to Balans in Chiswick.  I was commenting to Serena that I was fed up of London as I didn't seem to spot any celebrities any more (real or fake ones)!

Of course London decided that this wouldn't do, so we arrived at Balans and found Bill Bailey breakfasting with his family!  He looked pretty rough, but I suspect that is "normal" for him!

Best Freeby Ever!

We're back from Edinburgh and had a bit of fun with British Midland on the way up.

They "lost" our car seat in transit from London and so we complained. I filled out the lost luggage forms and mentioned that we were concerned about how we were going to get Lauren to Maggie and Peter's house.

The girl smiled and pulled out a car seat for us (brand new - still in it's packaging). I told her thanks and asked if we just drop it off on our return leg or give it to the courier who would deliver our lost luggage the next day? She told us that car seat regulations were such that it couldn't be reused, so we could keep it!

That means we have been able to leave one with Maggie and Peter so we don't need to lug it up to Edinburgh again!

Important News

Please read this post on the family blog.

Why so quiet????

I honestly cannot think of anything that has happened recently or that has grabbed my attention on the news that I thought - let's chat about that!
Yes I am being a bit apathetic, but then I am a bit p'd off with not finding a job which I put down to a combination of arsehole agents and a quiet market!
So mainly I have been spending heaps of quality time with Lauren and keeping Serena sane (see her post).

I do read your blogs, and I have even dropped the odd comment in here and there, but generally it is a "quiet news month"!

Wind!

Those of you who were here over New Year will remember my neighbour Brendon's attempts to repair our border fence (owned by him).  He ended up doing a good job replacing the duff panel, but unfortunately today's 70 mph gusts of wind have buggered the rest of the fence nicely!

 

You can also see our little 10' shrub/tree thingummy has come a cropper...  I think he can be salvaged though.

Renewal Time

January is car insurance renewal month and I usually spend a fun few hours searching the web and talking to a few other groups who offer special discounts.

Well this year I am amazed!  Both Serena's and my renewal quotes from our existing insurerers were the lowest quotes I can find by quite a substantial margin!  That has never happened before.

Looks like a double straight renewal!  Keeps it simple!

Return of the Musketeers

As blogged by Sally, this New Year saw the first get together of me with all my oldest friends for many years.

Alex, Julian, James and I have known each other since we were 8 (although I have known James since he was 4) and we have been good friends since 3rd year at St Peter's (aged 13).

You can compare these photos to another from my album when I get round to scanning it in, unless the above three pay me £20 each not to!!!!

Here is another of the four of us from New Year's Eve.

Note for Sally:

Click the pictures to open the big version. Then right click the big picture and choose Save Picture As.

Highlights of Serena's Job

I read this article and I had to laugh!

The End

It's the end of lots of things today...

My last day in NAG after 7 Years, 2 Months and 20 Days.
My last day of free broadband at work with none at home.
My last day of having no money (it's been an expensive month and payday + bonus can't come quickly enough tomorrow).
My last chance to "borrow" some stationary.
My last chance to get the best of the Krispy Kremes.
My last chance to post the bloody Christmas Cards.
You get the idea!

Time for a proper ramble

OK, so I have been too busy recently to ramble properly and random posts don't always please my audience!

So what has been keeping me busy?

Well I have caught up on some of my Sky+ backlog. I finished all the series of Spooks and am up to date with Torchwood.

Spooks is still my favourite thing on TV (well it isn't on any more, but you get my meaning) and Torchwood is a bit odd! I think I like it. It is a bit gruesome and I probably won't tire of the lesbian kisses for a while, but John Barrowman's lead character annoys the crap out of me! I hope we get some decent character based plotlines soon for him, as he is a bit too mysterious and gung-ho for my tastes - we need a few teasers to keep us going. The one teaser we got was something along the lines of "I need to talk to a certain Doctor I know about why I can't die". OK - great so we can hope for a cross-over with Doctor Who... except Russell T Davis (producer of both) has flatly denied that there will be any crossovers.

What else... Christmas shopping clearly! That is all done now. Although I need to get our Chrissie cards posted!

PC wise... I haven't had time to play NWN2 and haven't had an internet connection to play WoW on, so I actually have been trying Company of Heroes.

Hubert bought it for me for my birthday otherwise I would have ignored it. I gave up on RTS games after Red Alert but since this one fell into my lap for free I thought I would give it a go.

It's fun in small doses! The graphics are great and the mechanism of resource management works well enough that you can pretty much ignore it.

I have learned from my mistakes too. The computer cannot be beaten on more than 2 fronts at once (as the interface doesn't allow you to jump between your troops quickly enough to react to the enemy on 3 fronts). It is better to defend your key structures and then concentrate your attacks on one front at a time. Sure this takes much more time, but you take a hell of a lot fewer casualties. I suspect that as I progress through the game I won't have the luxury of taking my time, but for now the game has a fairly kind learning curve and doesn't punish you too much for ignorant mistakes!
Sure, I won't charge an MG emplacement again from the front! Stick one man in cover in front of it to draw fire and set the rest on flanking manoeuvers (remembering that grenades are your friends)!

Anyway I have some MI to create before lunch, so I'll write more later.

It's a date

Sky spaketh and the magic of broadband will be restored on 20th December. (Caveated with a "We are very busy so please allow an extra three days before calling our support line".) Since we are heading to York on the 21st I reckon our chances of testing the supposed 16 Meg service before Christmas are limited!

We also got their modded Netgear router and immediately changed all the default settings to something more appropriate! Imagine setting the SSID as SKYABCDE (ABCDE were 5 random numbers) - how uncooth! Also WEP encryption - this isn't the Dark Ages anymore!

I reckon I'll sell our £100 top of the range bit of kit. They still go for £75+ on EBay.

3 months too late

Looks like Ofcom finally pulled their finger out!

Another Cold

I suppose it was pretty much guaranteed that I would catch Lauren's cold! No wonder she has been grumpy though - I haven't had a sore throat this bad for years!

Rusty

I got a phonecall last night to see if I could do a telephone interview this morning for one of the jobs I have applied for.

Well I have had the interview and I feel like I have been wrung through a mangle! I am well out of practice!

Hopefully I haven't blown it at stage 1!

Sky Technical Support

You may have read this post on my issues with Sky Customer Services.
Well to confirm some of the technical points I gave their Tech Support guys a ring.
The guy on the other end of the line was clueless.
He didn't know what a MAC address was, he didn't know that ADSL required a username and password... generally I have never talked to someone less capable on a technical helpdesk.

Only this could be worse (20 minutes of pain).

Sky Thickos

Got a letter from Sky today saying they had cancelled our Broadband order due to incompatibilities with the line...Turned out that their computer doesn't check with BT's live line checker, but a weekly archived version. Hence the archive was out of date for our line. I was rather unpolite to the Customer Services gentleman who told me that!

Anyway, I have kicked off the order process AGAIN. We should be up and running the weekend before Christmas! Unfortunately we'll be in York by then!

One little gem that isn't detailed anywhere in their technical info is that you MUST, MUST, MUST use their modem/router. The routers are hardwired with the ADSL username and password and the service is locked to the internal MAC address of the modem. Whilst I can simulate the latter on my £120 Netgear router, Sky won't give me the username and password to put into it and the "POS" they give away for free has been firmware modded to hide the logon details. This means I have an expensive, high speed and ergonimically friendly on the eyes piece of hardware which I cannot use (even as a backup).

I am rather annoyed with Sky at the moment, so I think I will stop phoning them until I calm down!

The Competition

I had to laugh... One of my "agents" has found me a possible role at one of MLC's direct competitors here in London. Fingers crossed! (Easier commute too.)

Very Local

I just found a job ad for a really good company who are approx 2 miles from our house.
It's even on a direct bus route AND has decent shopping on their doorstep.
I have applied sharpish!
Fingers crossed!

Waiting Game

Yesterday I got home with Lauren to find our alarm was a bit "upset".After entering the over-ride code it told me that there was a telephone line fault.

I checked and the phone was working fine, so the data component of the line was being tinkered with. Great I thought - BT are removing the broadband "tag" from the line. I guessed right.

Half an hour later the alarm decided that the line was OK again, so I phoned up Sky and was finally able to order a replacement broadband package.

All we have now is a 1-2 week wait for BT to tinker with the line again to get us reconnected!

Bliss...

I realised something on friday (and then forgot to blog about it)...

The night out last thursday was enhanced by the Scottish law prohibitting smoking in public places.

I got back to the hotel and I didn't stink of fags, my room didn't stink of fags the next morning and my mouth didn't feel like I had been chain smoking (passively).

Roll on the English ban next August!

Getting Cynical Again

Following on from previous posts about pregnant women on the tube, I thought I would give you an insight into my mind from this morning.

No real problems on the tube but the first train that pulled in was busy and the next train was just behind it so I waited. The next train was as good as empty.

In choosing a seat I would generally pick the one that makes it easiest for me to get off the train at St Paul's. After sitting down I suddenly though... hang on, I sat here the other day and ended up giving up my seat to a pregnant woman as it is near the entrance. So I shifted to a seat in the middle of the carriage where it would be tough to get off, but there was no chance of having to give up my seat!!!!

In the end a woman fainted at Chancery Lane and I was in no position to be expected to give up my seat as I was wedged in the middle of the carriage.

The level of cynicism that is creeping into me is scary!

Deal or No Deal yourself!

Choose
Buy the expensive DVD game version
or
Play online for free with no Noel Edmonds!!!!

Daddy Cool

They say a picture speaks a thousand words....

Enough said then!

Definitely Offline....

OK, broadband went dead last night - finally.
I spoke to BT Wholesale this morning and the line will be cleared down on Tuesday night allowing us to re-apply with Sky next wednesday.
Clearly I can blog from work but don't expect much activity from Rena for a while.

Prank

Click this link if you have audio. A bit OTT towards the end, but funny.

Exorcising Demons

After yesterday's post, I actually bit the bullet today and gave up my seat on the tube to a woman who looked about 75% pregnant. I felt morally very strong afterwards and didn't get too many weird looks. What weas even better is that the person next to her left at the next stop so I got to sit down again!

Inferno

I am completely knackered this morning as Lauren is still not well and we have had very little sleep for three days.

Anyway, today's CAD comic really cheered me up. Upon reading it my first thought was "Inferno" which always makes me smile.

Is she or isn't she?

It's the eternal tube dilemma!

Is the women standing next to me 5 months pregnant or slightly podgy? Getting the wrong answer could be painful, but doing nothing makes you seem heartless.

Since I was standing I didn't have too much of a problem, as I just needed to not take a seat when once became available, but there have been times when I have been sat down and needed to keep my nose buried in my book, lest I catch their eye!

Bye Bye Tape Deck

Ever since I got my 40 Gig MP3 player I have been using a Tape Deck adapter to play the files back in the car.
I have been looking at buying a replacement radio for the Mazda and the number of decent setups that include a tape deck is becoming extremely small.
Now that the "iTrip" phenomenon is becoming legal I can forget about it and pick a decent DAB/FM/CD system.

Colour Palettes

I haven't played with the Reformatted Ramblings site for a while as I have been too busy.
I did just find this useful site though to help me pick a palette of colours.

BSG Season 3

Sky have finally confirmed that BSG Season 3 will start on 10 January 2007.

Medium Rare

Well we were all up good and early this morning as I not only had to run Lauren to nursery but had to drop Serena off at the tube for a training day.
I got back home and to my normal bus stop pretty much on time and found it mobbed.
We have road works back up the bus line that are causing traffic chaos, so this is ther result.
Eventually three of my bus turned up, however the first one was packed (as you would expect), the second told everyone to get off and then turned around and headed back the other way and the third bus was therefore hugely over required.
I managed to squeeze on and we sat there for 5 minutes whilst the driver argued with the last guy to get on (he jumped on after the driver said the bus was full). Anyway we eventually get to Shepherd's Bush and into the Central Line...
The platform is full. The board shows the next three trains are due in 7, 12 and 18 minutes respectively (so much for one train every 2 minutes!).
I can see a very long commute stretching ahead of me (as the trains are normally quite full when they hit Shepherd's Bush). Deciding that there is enough time, I squeeze onto the out of town platform and station hop out to White City, where I dashed up and over the foot bridge just in time to catch the training heading back to the Bush.
Pretty full but still room to get on and back to the Bush we head. Well it was murder on that train! I reckon I was well on my way to being coooked. It was so packed that I could have lifted both my feet off the floor and not fallen over! Thank goodness I had skipped breakfast.
Well I am slowly cooling down and will start work when I don't feel quite so "icky".

You never know

The IT guy who has sat opposite me for a couple of months now and who has been kicking around our office nearly as long as I have is in a band.
Now this is normally something that you nod your head and assume they play the odd wedding or birthday party on a friday night and think nothing more about it.
Well Lee is the Bassist for To-Mera who are a bit like Evanescence and since he is a nice guy I suggest you check them out!

Byebye UK Online

After much mucking about I have cancelled our broadband.... Now to see how quick BT can be with the reconnection.

We're on dial-up for a while, so there will be little in the way of blog updates from Serena.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!

My Inbox and Monty Python have a lot in common today!

Three pages of this crap:

Royale Flush

So I managed to use some serious capital from Serena being a dirty stop-out (she passed her exams and is now a Fellow of the College of Emergency Medicine) and buggered off to see Casino Royale by myself.

The cinema was a little quiet (an early showing) so myself and three others settled down to a "bit of bond".

You can break Casino Royale down into three parts.  The beginning is vintage Bond:  Action, Girls, Fast Cars and some good Bond / M interplay (no Q in this film).  The middle section is new ground for Bond, being all about characters (specifically Bond, Vesper and Le Chiffre) and works really well.  I though Daniel Craig and Eva Green had real chemistry and that Mads Mikkelsen's bad guy routine was nicely vulnerable.

Finally we come to the last segment.  Here we break the golden rule of films and novels...  new characters with no back story just thrown into the mix.  It doesn't work.  The final set piece of action is no where near as good as the free running at the start of the film and the plot twists are telegraphed with big "TWIST COMING" signs.

There is some violence in the film and it deserves its 12A certificate.  I would like to see a Director's Cut with the original 15 certificate version released on DVD.

Is there something for the ladies?  Most definitely!  I am seriously jealous of Daniel Craig's physique and the female characters are all strong enough to more than hold their own against Bond.  The girls will love the torture sequence too (trust me).

I really enjoyed this film.  Caterina Murino was excellent as Solange (as were most of the bit parts), although Ivana Milicevic as Le Chiffre's girlfriend Valenka should sue the art director and costume designer for making her look ugly!

The ending did spoil the whole package but I reckon that the franchise is heading back on track and I look forward to seeing what the producers can come up with for the next outing.

Overall I give the film 7/10.   (9/10 if you leave before the last 1/2 hour!)

PS  Gillian - please take Gareth to see this film!  You will enjoy it and it will stop Gareth sending me abusive texts!  Plus think of all the "chick flick" capital you will earn!  There are lots of Jude Law films coming out soon!

Feel the Force

I hope even Gareth thinks that this is taking Star Wars too far!

Missing in Action

What do you do about lost friends?

Before I started blogging I would spam all my friends' email inboxes with chatter on a daily basis, and just occassionally those who are slack at keeping in touch would drop a response that would trigger a conversation.

I have lost that with blogging. At least three of my old friends have gone quiet and I haven't heard from them in over three months.

I suppose I should email them but I don't feel like writing a life update email when all that is me is sprawled across these pages.

I caught up with one briefly on Messenger last night (purely at random)... Now I need to be good and keep in touch! As for the others... I actually rang a couple of the them a few months back and got the standard response... "Oh, I've been really busy... I'll contact you soon for a chat."

Maybe I need to look at myself - maybe they don't love me anymore?

Wife Faction v Needs

For those of you who have never played online roleplaying games you will not have a scooby what I am talking about in the title so bare with me!

I "need" to go and see Casino Royale as soon as possible.
Serena is working every weekend until Christmas with me looking after Lauren, so the only chance we have of going is on a week night.
Our only baby-sitter is not available at the moment, so I am left high and dry with the only choice being to catch it over Christmas.

I could go and see CR without Serena, but is my "wife faction" high enough to avoid recrimination / guilt? It's one hell of a dilemma!

You'll find out my decision based on when the review appears on this blog!

It's happening again!

Guess what is starting to make my eyes leak????

Click Me!

Slight change of plans...

Looking at the way Serena's job stands it looks like we will have to stay in London a bit longer than we hoped, before departing down under.

What this does mean though is that we will now be here long enough to make it worth our while to change a few of our contracts / mortgage etc (as we will still be around in 12 months time).

The biggest thing you may notice is that I am going to switch ISP, and associated with that we may loose Broadband for 3-4 weeks (hopefully less, but you can never tell).

Obviously I want to do this whilst I still have internet access at work, but it does mean that I won't be able to work from home and our blogging may fall behind a bit (certainly no photos or videos for a few weeks).

Just thought I would let you all know.

James and Sally - Pull your fingers out!

Just a quick note to try and get the pair of you to HURRY UP and plan your Laaandaaaan visit at New Year.

Serena and I want to invite you round for lunch and ideally we want to coincide the meal with Alex's birthday on the 2nd. However we can't plan it if you don't let us know when you are coming!

Plan B is to feed you all on the 31st, but we either way WE NEED TO KNOW SOON!

Annual Neologism Contest

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
    

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
8. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
9. Decafalon (n.) The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
10. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
11. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
14. Caterpallor (n.) The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
    
    And the pick of the literature:
15. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.